Whodunnit? From Condoms to Cucumbers, the National Blame Game

Leading the pack of scapegoats in Germany’s e-coli outbreak are Spanish vegetable farmers, as innocent as their cucumbers of contaminating (to date) hundreds of German salad eaters – make that salad eaters in Germany.

Spanish Cucumbers, Now Absolved

In the first wave of panic, the crunchy green veggie was singled out. Days later it was exonerated, but not before thousands of Spanish farmers were devastated and perhaps ruined as the European (Dis)union rushed to national judgement. Only choleric Russia did not discriminate, and banned all EU veggies from Russian plates: LET THEM DRINK VODKA!

Victim of the French/English/Spanish/Christian/Polish Disease

It late nineteenth century England, when syphilis stalked the land, Englishmen and women died (they said) of the French Disease that in its French incarnation, however, was known as La Maladie Anglaise while the Russians condemned it as the Polish disease, the Dutch called it Spanish and the Turks condemned it as the Christian disease.

Is it a French Letter or an English Safe?

If only its legions of victims had worn a cucumber-like English safe or a French Letter to protect themselves!

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